Monday, March 30, 2009

A Glimmer of Hope- Indonesia

Amidst the global economic meltdown, the world's fourth most populous nation, Indonesia's economy has not altered its course. As the country's Finance Minister stated eloquently in a recent interview, "Indonesia is a land of diveristy. You can bribe public officials in so many ways, I cannot even describe to you. Prior to the global recession, Indonesia's economy was highlighted by stale business practices, poor government regulation, non-existent investor safeguards, and, occassionally, riots in the streets. Nothing much has changed since then."


The ultra-wealthy in Jakarta have benefitted most from the country's resilience.


During the interview, the Minister also boasted about his nation's high tolerance for inflation. "Indonesia has done for inflation, what the Irish have done for drinking. We have such a high tolerance for it We're @$#% awesome at it. I personally try to maintain the country's inflation rate and my son's SAT score at the same level. It has made the lines move a lot faster at supermarkets, because if the line is too long, you might not be able to afford your purchase by the time you get to the cashier."


The Minister had some harsh words for the United States' handling of the current crisis, commenting that "...in America, subprime mortgages are a controversial topic. In my country, I have never even heard of such a thing as a prime mortgage. When you give a load to a dude living amidst a pack of Komodo dragons, you pretty much have to write that #$@% off."

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

FCB (Financial Crisis Bride) Magazine

Your wedding day is a special day, and you've been planning it in your mind for years. Don't let the prospect of global economic collapse deter you from tying the knot. Finally, there's a magazine for those who get hitched, and do it on the cheap. Here are some pointers:

* Gift Registry at MTA ticket booth.

* It's never too late to dust off your old prom dress.

* No need to hire a DJ- use your iPod shuffle. You may have to wait a while for "your song" to come up on the randomly generated playlist.

* A popular money-saving strategy is to estrange your entire family prior to the wedding, which can reduce your guest count by as much as 85%.

* Instead of hiring an expensive caterer to provide food for your wedding, set up placards with statistics about the number of starving children in the world and fast facts about infamous famines. Your guests will not only forget about their anger at not being fed, they will experience an intense feeling of guilt. You will of course have a 'donations jar' available, so that they can give towards the cause of stopping global hunger (i.e. your new Dark Knight Blu-Ray).

* Location, location, location. It's as important for a wedding as it is for a store. That's why we recommend having your wedding in a store, preferrably an upscale department store like Bergdorf Goodman or Bloomingdale's. The store is already decorated free of charge. For an added bonus, you can hold your ceremony in the fitting rooms; that way, you and your bridesmaids can "try on" dresses during a "mock" wedding.

* The memories of this day will last a lifetime. Take your wedding photos at an Apple store, where you can ask the helpful staff to "show you how the MacBook camera works", and ask them to "demonstrate the e-mail pictures feature."