Showing posts with label Media Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Media Satire. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

CNBC Financial News Update

Breaking News: I'm an idiot.


BREAKING NEWS: S&P 500 up 12 out of the past 89 Thursdays that fall on an even- numbered date.

CNBC URGENT ALERT: China and India have lots of people.

ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ATTENTION: Today is Wednesday.

CNBC NEWSBREAK: Jim Cramer gives rabies to a wild dog.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Latest Entertainment News


MTV Networks has just announced the launch of a new channel, RSTV (‘Reality Show Television’). The daily programming breakdown on RSTV will be as follows:

~ 23 hours of music videos totally unrelated to the reality show genre
~ 1 hour of reality shows, shown from 3:30AM to 4:30AM

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

America's Best Political Team


Raised by wolves...Nursed to adolescence by coyotes...Trusted by America.

What do you get when you combine raw canine ferocity with the inability to speak in more than one tone? Great journalism. That was CNN's thought process when they hired Wolf Blitzer in 1990. While most viewers of his show believe Blitzer to be relatively subdued in nature, it is a little known fact that CNN producers actually tranquilize him before every taping. This is in order to prevent a repeat of the infamous 1994 episode when Blitzer bit actor Gene Hackman's ankle during an interview, and then buried a bone in the CNN studios.

Wolf Blitzer will be signing copies of his biography, "The Jungle Book" by Rudyard Kipling, at the Union Square Barnes & Noble on Monday, April 7, 2008. All proceeds will benefit Wolf Blitzer's voracious appetite for medium-rare venison.