You're Fired...In A Good Way

Now that the U.S. Economy is in a free-fall spiral downwards, companies are looking to fire people more than ever. But what if they want to let people go, without hurting their feelings? A creative way to tell people they're fired is to tell them they've gotten a job that is entirely fictional. Here are some examples:

"Congrats, I've heard you've been hired as..."

* "...Switzerland's Army General."
* "...Hank Paulson's hair stylist."
* "...Minister of Human Rights, China."
* "...a non-racist LAPD officer."
* "...an Indian Railways bathroom cleaner."
* "...the Pakistani Prime Minister."
* "...Sarah Palin's newspaper delivery boy."
* "...a minority in the Republican Party."