Main Contenders
* People’s Honesty Party (PHP)
The PHP is running with the promise of being honest with voters about their true intentions. On the campaign trail, PHP politicians are frequently seen stealing food from poor people, and using school textbooks as toilet paper, claiming that “...this is the type of behavior you can expect from us.” This brutal honesty seems to be appreciated by voters, who are used to being lied to by politicos.
Slogan: “Honestly, we hate you. Still vote for us, please.”
* Communist Party of India (CPI)
The Communist Party of India is focusing on targeting “green” minded voters during the election, with their heavily environment-friendly policies. CPI is promising that India’s greenhouse emissions will never increase, as it plans on implementing crappy economic policies to promote economic stagnation.
Slogan: “Let’s protect India’s wildlife...because you will be living like them soon.”
* Knowledge Party (KP)
This party is specifically targeting illiterate voters.
Slogan: “☀☁☂♥✈”
* National Alliance (NA)
The NA is running on a platform based on elimination of corruption in India’s government. NA has a storied history of being recognized as an uncorrupt organization. For the past five years, the party bribed Election Commission officials into naming it the “Least Corrupt Political Party in India”.
Slogan: “Together, we can get rid of corruption in India. lol jk”
* Chappal Party (CP)
The Chappal Party is unique in having a truly dynamic party platform. Based on the current political mood, the CP will totally alter their perspectives on life. For example, in April 2004, the party organized a riot against foreign investment in India. In May 2004, the party organized a protest demanding more foreign investment in India. In June 2004, the party simply organized a general riot, using extremely confused supporters who had no idea what they stood for anymore.
Slogan: “We are confused, and you are dumb. Let’s work something out.”
No comments:
Post a Comment