World's Worst Pickup Lines

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

"Those are beautiful earrings. Do you mind if I take a closer look?"

'The Incredible Hulk' Finishes Weekend As #1 Movie

This is Jason Giambi's second major film role, after 1998's "Godzilla".
Marvel Studios' latest film, 'The Incredible Hulk', ruled the domestic box office this past weekend, pulling in over $55 million in ticket sales. While audiences have been impressed by the apparent "computer generated effects" in 'The Incredible Hulk', Marvel Studios CEO Michael Helfant let GMCTTC in on a little secret. "While Bruce Banner in human form was played by Ed Norton, for all of the scenes with the Hulk character, we simply brought in Jason Giambi from the New York Yankees, and spray-painted his body green," says Helfant. According to sources inside Marvel Studios, Roger Clemens also auditioned for the role of the Hulk. When Clemens learned that Giambi had gotten the part, he allegedly ripped a Giant Sequoia tree out of the ground in anger.

New Law School Opens in D.C.

This week, the Ariel Sharon School of Human Rights Law was officially opened in Washington, D.C. The school (Accreditations: Indian Police Service, The Office of Dick Cheney) is currently accepting applications for its Class of 2011. A preliminary list of classes being offered is provided below:

* I Also Have A Dream: Why Rodney King Was Guilty- Fmr. Detective Mark Fuhrman

* Habeas Corpus and Other Optional Rules- Fmr. Attorney General John Ashcroft

* Modern Day Fiction: From 'Geneva Convention' to Michael Crichton

* A History of Legal Philosophy- Fmr. South African Minister of Law & Order Adriaan Vlok (There will be assigned seating)

* Field Trip to Guantanamo Bay- 18 spots available (Only 7 for the return trip)

* Introduction to Art- Final project: Making a doormat using the UN Declaration of Human Rights

* Gender Equality & Women's Rights- Mike Tyson (Summer '08) / Ike Turner (Fall '08)

Politician Lauded For Honest Campaigning

In the Muzaffarpur district of Bihar, India, a man has gained immense popularity for running a political campaign based on honesty. In a political scene where deception and lies are the norm rather than the exception, B.S. Crapwallah has emerged as a shining beacon of hope for the people of his district. While running for the local parliamentary seat, Crapwallah has communicated the truth to voters, instead of simply stating what he knows voters will want to hear. The following are copies of Crapwallah's campaign posters, which can be found plastered on walls, buildings, and hospital beds throughout the Muzaffarpur district: