'The Incredible Hulk' Finishes Weekend As #1 Movie

This is Jason Giambi's second major film role, after 1998's "Godzilla".
Marvel Studios' latest film, 'The Incredible Hulk', ruled the domestic box office this past weekend, pulling in over $55 million in ticket sales. While audiences have been impressed by the apparent "computer generated effects" in 'The Incredible Hulk', Marvel Studios CEO Michael Helfant let GMCTTC in on a little secret. "While Bruce Banner in human form was played by Ed Norton, for all of the scenes with the Hulk character, we simply brought in Jason Giambi from the New York Yankees, and spray-painted his body green," says Helfant. According to sources inside Marvel Studios, Roger Clemens also auditioned for the role of the Hulk. When Clemens learned that Giambi had gotten the part, he allegedly ripped a Giant Sequoia tree out of the ground in anger.

'Roid Rage

Above: Roger Clemens unsuccessfully tries to convince reporters he does not use steroids.

In a surprise development, professional baseball player Roger Clemens attacked a man who was testing him for steroid use in a fit of rage. During a hastily organized press conference, Clemens reiterated to reporters that he has never taken performance enhancing drugs. In an unrelated incident, Jason Giambi of the New York Yankees threw a tractor across the Mississippi River.