The New Codetalkers

The U.S. Marine Corps recently announced it is reinstating the 'Codetalkers' program used in World Wars I and II. This time, however, instead of utilizing Native American speakers, the Marines are planning to tap a much larger group of individuals- F.O.B. Math and Physics teaching assistants.

In World War II, a code based on the Navajo language was used to communicate because Navajo is nearly impossible to learn and gain full fluency for non-native speakers, and because it is unrelated to most other languages on Earth. "...And those are pretty much the exact same reasons why we're gonna use these TA's," says Lt. General Skippy McGee.

Foreign-born Teaching Assistants are known to boggle the minds of undergraduate students at U.S. universities, with their unusual accents, creative grammatical errors, and total lack of understanding of the concept of 'personal space'. When asked to comment on his recruitment as a code-talker, University of Rhode Island Mathematics TA Rajendra Modi had this to say: "I am refused to dewelop this nature, succumbing to this, and in case, howewer to say, this country is a beetful and lowely experience. When in Rome."